Cicada watch: 5/23

Just in case you give two sh*ts, I am happy to say that I have not yet seen or heard any cicadas. Thank goodness for the concrete jungle!

But I have to say, I was listening to a phone interview with a cicada expert, and was chagrined to find, that after all those frenziedly mating adults die and litter the ground and their remains are swept away, about 6 weeks later, the byproduct of all that summer lovin' will hatch out of their little eggs and FALL OUT OF THE TREES! Yes, not only will they freak me out in the beginning of the summer with their noise and general bugginess, but at the end of the summer, I will have to watch for falling cicada babies? I have long hair, folks. This is my worst nightmare come true!

Someone, please pass the Belvedere, I think I'm going to need the whole bottle.